Category Archives: Goal Setting

The One Who Wins is The Man Who Thinks He Can

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will-
It’s all in the state of mind,

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!

Stop Regretting. Start Living.

While we work away tirelessly to provide for our families and ourselves, it’s easy to forget why we’re doing what we’re doing. Sometimes, it’s helpful to step back and look through a different lens. Consider the perspective of these folks facing imminent death and what they regretted most about how they lived their lives.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Article here: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

Your time is finite. Don’t regret anything. XLIV your life.

That 44 Life: Raw and Unedited

Strength is required to be sensitive. Vulnerability is raw and unedited. Compassion can only exist if you’re capable of envisioning pain that is not of your own. Insecurities don’t HAVE to be considered unattractive. It’s sexy to confront your flaws. It’s admirable to admit when you’re wrong. It’s especially charismatic of an individual to do so WITH difficulty. Beneficial modifications are NEVER easy. Self-awareness requires pivotal moments in your life to occur. Be it heartache, euphoria, acceptance, rejection, disappointment, loss, or immense gain.Your weaknesses must be exposed and examined, but done so without judgment. Do not dwell and do not be discouraged. Be soaked in excitement. Be doused in what’s genuine. If you hear a song that captures what makes you feel what you need to feel, then play it again, and again, and again. Play it until its notes replace the marrow that is inside of your bones. Then turn the volume up, and play it the fuck again.

It’s about being an individual. It’s about NOT being meant to be carbon copies of one another. I was never meant to blend in. I was destined for the extreme. Not all that is subtle. My companion is passion. Not this indifference. It doesn’t mean I am arrogant. It doesn’t mean, “L.A. got to me.” And it doesn’t mean I’ve put myself on a pedestal. I breathe for those who can’t do it on their own. I’m healthy for those who don’t have the opportunity. I ask questions without apologizing. I learn, so that I can understand. Not to correct someone else in the future. I love to feel close. My sexuality immense in intensity. I speak to communicate.Yes, it does feel difficult. Yes, it does get tiresome. Yes, I question myself. But when life becomes hard, I ask myself what exactly I’m comparing my challenges to. I’d rather drown from getting too deep, than suffocate from the boredom of shallowness.

by Ry Truax: Actor, Model, Rapper, and Overall Bad Ass.

See his newest joint, “I’m Truax” here: [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv6b_v8JcFc%5D

Wake Up: Living With Renewed Purpose

“Sometimes everything needs to be inscribed across the heavens, so you can find the one line already written inside you.” – David Whyte

Wake up. This prison you’re in isn’t real.

The pain that surrounds you has caused you to see in only one dimension, and the time to restart has come. Sometimes, we need to reach the brink of chaos and destruction to realize just how deep we’ve dived down the rabbit hole. Sometimes, we need to experience the cumulative pain our decisions have caused before we can truly believe our time for change has come.

Progress is hard, and at the end of the day, it’s a personal choice.

Look inside your heart, and see – no, feel the man you wish to be. Compare the discrepancies between your ideal and actual self. What is your most limiting characteristic? What are the steps you need to take in order to improve? What are the road blocks that are preventing you from guaranteed success?

Fear will prevent us from striving towards what we want most. Whether it’s too hard, it’s too scary, or it’s too much; fear will always prevent great ideas from becoming great realities. Tackle the traits, one by one (in order of importance), that are condemning you to a mediocre existence.

Don’t expect too much too soon. Time is finite, and so is our energy. So focus. But don’t get burned out. Keep it fresh, and keep it fun. Sustained determination is the only fix for the obstacles you will undoubtedly face on the way to fulfilling your destiny.

Without action, thoughts lay dormant and useless. Write, talk, and craft content. We must create momentum. Remember that actions lead to results. Results lead to belief. And belief – belief has created all there is in this world worth seeing or feeling.

Don’t feel selfish for wanting something more. You were born to be something more.

The Key To Becoming Legendary

I enjoy studying legendary people who started from the bottom and whose wildest dreams have come true. I find their paths to success fascinating, and I have constantly wondered for as long as I can remember what makes one man more capable than the next. When I study the commonalities amongst greats, one trait stands out to me more than any other: mental toughness. The ability to endure mental and physical pain by passionately focusing on the ultimate goal is difficult and rare.

I wonder if these unique individuals were born with this skill or if it something they acquired. How can each one of us work to strengthen our mental toughness each day? Not dissimilar from physical training, practice and pushing ourselves enables us to go a little farther, be a little better, and accomplish a little more each day. Our tolerance for pain goes up, and what we considered impossible previously becomes the ordinary and expected.

Each day, we have the ability to focus our energy on anything we choose. Of course we have jobs, children, obligations, and responsibilities. These are unavoidable, but there are still moments in the day when we have time to ourselves. Wouldn’t training our minds to get more out of the finite energy we have be a wise investment? If we can learn to absorb the stresses and failures of life more effectively, wouldn’t this lead us to living fuller and happier lives?

This Forbes article outlines six elements of mental toughness that one can develop in order to become more mentally tough. If you’d like, try consciously implementing one or two in your day-to-day to see if it has a positive effect.

http://www.forbes.com/2010/09/17/executive-mental-toughness-leadership-managing-athletes.html

“Concentration and mental toughness are the margins of victory.”

– Bill Russell

The Moth And The Flame

Chase your passions like the moth chases the flame.

When we’ve been away from the flame for too long, we begin to die. Our daily activities become increasingly monotonous. Our lives lose its magic, and we start to shuffle through life like zombies. We go on autopilot and forget to be conscious. It is crucially important that we come back to our passions. It recharges our souls.

Distractions and obstacles always have a way of presenting themselves. The question is do you have the wherewithal, perspective, and fortitude to push through the discomfort to return to your energized state. Kids, work, money, lack of time are all real and powerful reasons we stray from the substance that makes us whole, but without cultivating an inner-peace with yourself, you are doing your entire circle an injustice. We can’t be perfect, and that’s okay.

You don’t have to go after success everyday. Some days are better spent recuperating the energy you’ve sacrificed for your family, for your friends, for your future. Always try to remember to be true to yourself. Listen to what your mind, body, and soul are telling you. The answer is written inside you. Only you know what your flame is. Never cease to find your flame.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

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– Theodore Roosevelt

8 Tips To Living A Happier Existence

1. Stop believing your bullshit.

All that stuff you tell yourself about how you are a commitment phobe or a coward or lazy or not creative or unlucky? Stop it. It’s bullshit, and deep down you know it. We are all insecure 14 year olds at heart. We’re all scared. We all have dreams inside of us that we’ve tucked away because somewhere along the line we tacked on those ideas about who we are that buried that essential brilliant, childlike sense of wonder. The more we stick to these scripts about who we are, the longer we live a fraction of the life we could be living. Let it go. Be who you are beneath the bullshit.

2. Be happy now.

Not because The Secret says so. Not because of some shiny happy Oprah crap. But because we can choose to appreciate what is in our lives instead of being angry or regretful about what we lack. It’s a small, significant shift in perspective. It’s easier to look at what’s wrong or missing in our lives and believe that is the big picture — but it isn’t. We can choose to let the beautiful parts set the tone.

3. Look at the stars.

It won’t fix the economy. It won’t stop wars. It won’t give you flat abs, or better sex or even help you figure out your relationship and what you want to do with your life. But it’s important. It helps you remember that you and your problems are both infinitesimally small and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe. I do it daily — it helps.

4. Let people in.

Truly. Tell people that you trust when you need help, or you’re depressed — or you’re happy and you want to share it with them. Acknowledge that you care about them and let yourself feel it. Instead of doing that other thing we sometimes do, which is to play it cool and pretend we only care as much as the other person has admitted to caring, and only open up half way. Go all in — it’s worth it.

5. Stop with the crazy making.

I got to a friend’s doorstep the other day, slightly breathless and nearly in tears after getting a little lost, physically and existentially. She asked what was wrong and I started to explain and then stopped myself and admitted, “I’m being stupid and have decided to invent lots of problems in my head.” Life is full of obstacles; we don’t need to create extra ones. A great corollary to this one is from The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz: Don’t take things personally. Most of the time, other people’s choices and attitudes have absolutely nothing to do with you. Unless you’ve been behaving like a jerk, in which case…

6. Learn to apologize.

Not the ridiculous, self-deprecating apologizing for who you are and for existing that some people seem to do (what’s up with that, anyway?). The ability to sincerely apologize — without ever interjecting the word “but” — is an essential skill for living around other human beings. If you are going to be around other people, eventually you will need to apologize. It’s an important practice.

7. Practice gratitude.

Practice it out loud to the people around you. Practice it silently when you bless your food. Practice it often. Gratitude is not a first world only virtue. I saw a photo recently, of a girl in abject poverty, surrounded by filth and destruction. Her face was completely lit up with joy and gratitude as she played with a hula hoop she’d been given. Gratitude is what makes what we have enough. Gratitude is the most basic way to connect with that sense of being an integral part of the vastness of the universe; as I mentioned with looking up at the stars, it’s that sense of wonder and humility, contrasted with celebrating our connection to all of life.

8. Be kind.

Kurt Vonnegut said it best (though admittedly, and somewhat ashamedly — I am not a Vonnegut fan): “There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.'”

Kindness costs us nothing and pays exponential dividends. I can’t save the whole world. I can’t bring peace to Syria. I can’t fix the environment or the health care system, and from the looks of it, I may end up burning my dinner.

But I can be kind.

If the biggest thing we do in life is to extend love and kindness to even one other human being, we have changed the world for the better.

That’s a hell of a lot more important than flat abs in my book.

And remember, just keep your head up. All this shit is all in our heads.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADP65wbBUpc%5D

All credit for this material goes to Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kate-bartolotta/happiness-tips_b_3956114.html

10 Tips to Start Living in the Present

10 Tips to Start Living in the Present
by JOSHUA BECKER

Live-in-the-present-moment

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”

One of the best, unforeseen consequence of simplifying our lives is it has allowed us to begin living our lives in the present. Eliminating nonessential possessions has freed us from many of the emotions associated with past lives that were keeping us stuck. And clearing our home has allowed us the freedom to shape our lives today around our most important values.

Choosing to live in the past or the future not only robs you of enjoyment today, it robs you of truly living. The only important moment is the present moment. With that goal in mind, consider this list of ten tips below to start living your life in the present:

1. Remove unneeded possessions. Minimalism forces you to live in the present. Removing items associated with past memories or lives frees us up to stop living in the past and start living in the present.

2. Smile. Each day is full of endless possibilities! Start it with a smile. You are in control of your attitude every morning, keep it optimistic and expectant.

3. Fully appreciate the moments of today. Soak in as much of today as you possibly can – the sights, the sounds, the smells, the emotions, the triumph, and the sorrow.

4. Forgive past hurts. If you are harboring resentment towards another human being because of past hurts, choose to forgive and move on. The harm was their fault. But allowing it to impact your mood today is yours.

5. Love your job. If you just “survive” the workweek constantly waiting for the next weekend “to get here,” you are wasting 71% of your life (5 out of 7 days). there are two solutions: 1) find a new job that you actually enjoy (it’s out there), or 2) find something that you appreciate about your current career and focus on that rather than the negatives.

6. Dream about the future, but work hard today. Dream big. Set goals and plans for the future. But working hard today is always the first step towards realizing your dreams tomorrow. Don’t allow dreaming about tomorrow to replace living in today.

7. Don’t dwell on past accomplishments. If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.

8. Stop worrying. You can’t fully appreciate today if you worry too much about tomorrow. Realize that tomorrow is going to happen whether you worry about it or not. And since worry has never accomplished anything for anybody, redirect your mental energy elsewhere.

9. Think beyond old solutions to problems. Our world is changing so fast that most of yesterday’s solutions are no longer the right answers today. Don’t get locked into a “but that’s how we’ve always done it” mentality. Yesterday’s solutions are not today’s solutions and they are certainly not tomorrow’s solutions.

10. Conquer addictions. Addictions in your life hold you hostage. They keep you from living a completely free life today. Find some help. Take the steps. And remove their influence over your life.

If you can only live one moment at a time, you might as well make it the present…

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/10-tips-to-start-living-in-the-present/

Why We Find Reasons To Be Unhappy

“Do you ever wonder why you still find ways to be unhappy, even despite all of your blessings?

If I may, I believe that I can shed some light…

Every time our brain has a success, we tend to just change the goal of what success looks like. You got good grades — now you have to get better grades. You got a good job — now you have to get a better job. You got in great shape — now you need to get in better shape.

Our society says, “If I work harder, I’l be more successful” and “If I’m more successful, I’ll be happier.” Unfortunately, this train of thought is extremely backwards. In fact, it’s bullshit. We think we have to be successful to be happier but our brain actually works in the complete opposite order.

IF HAPPINESS IS ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF SUCCESS, YOUR BRAIN NEVER GETS THERE!!!

Embrace the present. Take time to celebrate the blessings surrounding you and how far you’ve already come, rather than focusing on everything left to be done. Partake in random acts of kindness, meditate, exercise, express gratitude. All of these things help train your brain to become more positive in the present, and these small changes will ripple outward toward the form of success — I promise.

Because HAPPINESS DRIVES SUCCESS, not the other way around.

by Chris Garafola, Founder of Stop Breathe Bump

sbb
http://www.stopbreathebump.com/
“Life is too short for bad music.”

Learning To Win & The Virtues of Failure

Today I took a minute to think about the goals that are written on my wall by my bed, and more importantly, what am I going to do today to become closer to achieving them. I realized in that moment that goals are not always achieved instantly, that it’s unrealistic to expect favorable results every day. My recent “failures” to my surprise, have not felt like shortcomings, but rather events that have made me even hungrier to achieve those goals. So what does that mean for someone one like me, someone who is goal oriented, ambitious, impatient, and likes to “win”? I decided to explore the definition of “goal” and “win”.

Goal- “the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result”
Win- [be successful or victorious in a contest or conflict; to acquire or secure a successful result in a contest, bet, or endeavor]

You may be asking “so, what..?” If you are lucky enough not to have been subject to a philosophical discussion (a.k.a. argument) with me, then you may not know how much I like to win. That feeling of victory, superiority, success and/or adequacy. Interestingly enough, the obvious fact that winning at everything is not realistic can still be a hard concept to come to terms with. Failure is just as much a part of life, progress and everyday life as “winning” is. Sure it’s easy to laugh at yourself for silly failures such as running into a screen door, but sometimes it’s hard to shake those failures that relate to your goals or interests.

I’m learning it’s important to understand what failure means in the overall process. Not only do you learn about what went wrong during failure, you also learn about yourself, people and the world around you. Sometimes the only way to learn (e.g. realize you weaknesses), is through failure. The old adage my parents used to throw around, when I would argue that my failure was in-part from their lack of guidance, comes to mind: “[We] could tell you until [we’re] blue in the face and you still wouldn’t have believed [us].” In that way, failure (personal and sometimes shared) is an intimate experience. It’s a unique experience that differs from person to person. Even in team sports, like basketball, failure is not completely shared. Sure, everyone on the team feels the general effect, but the exact meaning of that failure differs from person to person. From a recent failure, I have realized that goals can be won.

Goals maybe not be achieved today, tomorrow, or exactly when you would like; but if you use your ambition and focus your effort towards your desired result (goal) every day, you are winning every day. A win may be finite, but winning is state of progress that leads to victory. And when the day comes that the road of progression has ended and your goal has been achieved, in that moment, you’ve won.

by Kyle Paya, Four4Life Soldier