They Grow So Fast

Thick-tree-in-the-fog

Look how far they’ve come.  It’s a helpless feeling to see how fast they grow.  It feels like falling.  It feels like that nightmare where everything spins.  Everything spins so fast you could puke from the lack of control.

I think about how they will soon be like us: constantly lost and searching, worrying about the obstacles, doing their best: broken.

It’s painful to think about how fast we age.  Soon we’ll be old, and they’ll be everything we wish we were again — youthful, full of life and wonder.  We’ll live vicariously through them, and they will ask us all questions.  They will learn to speak and think about all possibilities.  We won’t know the right answer to most of their questions just like our parents never knew.  We will use our experience to answer in a way we hope will lead them on the right path.  Our deficiencies will be built into these answers.  Luckily they know us better than we know ourselves.

We will do our best like our parents did before us to build a system that will last.  A belief system, a trust, a methodology.  We will do our best like our children will do after us.  Maybe not our absolute, unwavering best. But a real version of our best given the changing nature of things.

We can’t be great all the time, and we need to be okay with that.  Humans are fallible but resilient.  We can’t be too hard on ourselves, and we always need to get back up.  We will be defeated more times than we can possibly remember.  Our worst defeats will be burned in our souls, but they will make us who we are: for better or for worse.

Our children will know we’re coming from a place of love as long as we continue to strive to give them our best.  Maybe not our absolute, unwavering best.  But a real version of our best given the changing nature of things.

They’ll understand why we fight for them, but they wont understand why we can’t sometimes just get along.  They’ll only see the best in both of us.  It must be our duty to never break their trust.  It must be our mission to show them how to love, how to care, how to do a good job and how to work hard.

Strong trees don’t become strong without having survived strong winds, hard winters, cold nights.

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