Who are we? Are we just a hodgepodge of our parent’s beliefs, our ancestor’s DNA, our peer groups, the stuff we read, and the movies we watch? What is the real meaning of self, and does it even exist? How are any of us truly unique? Sometimes, I feel like a robot that has just absorbed the things around me. Now I just spit those thoughts and theories up to other people. The ideas spread from the source to me to someone else. I find the more I read something or the more I research something, the more of my conscious it consumes. The opinions seem to transform into my own. How the fuck are we unique, and how do I truly find what kind of person I want to be? As Will Smith says in this interview, “Just Decide” and everything else gets out of the way.
The problem is that when I decide, second guessing comes into play. Obstacles present themselves. Other things that are important in my life threaten to change or leave if I don’t concede. Which battles do I stand and fight, and which do I concede? Sometimes, I change my mind, I lose my passion, and I lose my focus. How can I decide when, sometimes, I don’t feel like I’m myself at all?